Did you guys know that there are some people who learn from their past mistakes? And it looks like Ben Higgins, of all people, might be one of them.
Ben Higgins, who placed third on The Bachelorette, appeared on The Bachelor and Bachelor in Paradise, and just earlier this year broke up with Lauren Bushnell, is understandably hesitant to dip his toes back into the Bachelor Nation in order to find love.
He says that he’s not prepared to rule out something like becoming the Bachelor again, though.
Ben Higgins wrote on his blog, The Mahogany Workplace, to respond to fans asking him if he wants to once again be the leading man on The Bachelor.
His post is all kinds of lengthy, but we’ll bring you the highlights.
First, Ben assures people that he’s confident that the producers will carefully select their next leading man.
After doubt’s been cast on Peter Kraus’ odds of being the Bachelor because Peter has realistic ideas about love and marriage, we wish that we shared his faith.
Then, in case anyone sees the question and wonders who wouldn’t want to be the Bachelor, he talks about the major downside to accepting the role:
“Let me be straightforward: Being the bachelor or bachelorette isn’t always fun and easy.”
That makes sense. The whole point of the show is that it’s filled with difficult, emotional choices.
“For the most part the emotional experience puts both the contestants and bachelor or bachelorette in extremely difficult situations.”
But Ben really puts it into perspective:
“By the end of the show everyone is completely drained, which you can expect when you begin and end 25-plus relationships in three months.”
Yeah. Just one breakup can make you want to hibernate for half a year.
Then, Ben delves into the possibility of accepting the role at some point in the future.
He really lays out his thought process for you:
“I asked myself, ‘Would it be wise?’ And to be honest, I do not feel like being the Bachelor would be a wise choice for me right now. Here’s why:”
He has a list.
“I am not ready for another relationship to take place in the public eye.”
If you’ll recall, this is exactly what sabotaged his relationship with Lauren Bushnell in particular, and the spotlight may have even played a role in bringing about the end of his past relationships.
You have to be able to communicate with your significant other, especially early on. It’s hard to do that honestly when cameras are omnipresent.
“I am not able to be the man I would want to be for the women participating in the experience. I sense that I couldn’t prepare my heart to get engaged six months after my previous engagement ended. (I’m focusing on loving others better in non-romantic settings.)”
It’s all kinds of refreshing to see somebody talk realistically about the timeframe of all of this. Some people grieve relationships, especially engagements, for months or even years after they end.
The presence of cameras may block honest communication, but you can still catch feelings.
Ben says that a lot of introspection would be required on his part before deciding to once again take the plunge.
“If I did the show again I’d want to ensure that my intentions were pure and I was doing it — wait for it — for the right reasons.”
But really, people would be giving him so much side-eye for being the Bachelor again, you know?
And he knows it.
“The scrutiny that would result from doing the show twice makes me hesitate to participate.”
People would, first of all, challenge him and wonder why he’d try it again if his past attempts have all ended in failure. (Never mind that that’s how dating works)
They would also accuse him of just seeking fame, which … would be hard to dispute.
He puts forward another, more transparent, reason for not pursuing that role:
“And last but not least I have some exciting things that I’m passionate about going on right now. And I do not want to neglect them.”
He then plugs those current projects.
He wraps up the post with some genuine wisdom.
“Every decision we make comes with consequences. At this point in my life I do not believe I’m ready to be the Bachelor again.”
He says that “not now” isn’t the same as “never,” though.